I HATE MY FAMILY.

Family is the suckish thing ever, I dont have a FAMILY eventhough i have one. Im not a part of any family, except my friends and my class. My Family is just the suckish thing ever, Every single one of my family meber doesnt love or care about me, All they do is judge me. My Dad nearly killed me last friday, and he said im such a fake, awhile ago my mom said lots of bad stuffs about me, i feel like im in jail inside this motherfucking house. I wanna die, i'd rather die than live with them, I wanna run away but im afraid to tell my friends about whats happening in my life, i try to hide everything when im with them, i just smile and fake everything because i know i cant tell them all my problems because they wont understand me, this blog is the only thing where i can express all my feelings right now, My heart is crushed. Everything my Mom said awhile hurts, and i try to hide and pretend im not hearing everything what she's saying, i dont know how to deal with this life anymore. No one cares about me, I cant talk to someone and share my feelings, I lost a FRIEND and I LOST A FAMILY.

During our fieldtrip, The Guy was discussing about family, and he said a FAMILY is FOREVER. you cant say "he used to be my dad" or "They used to be my Family" but i can say it now, THEY USED TO BE MY FAMILY, SHE USED TO BE MY MOM, HE USED TO BE MY DAD, SHE USED TO BE MY SISTER. I freaking hate my life, everything's falling apart, and im loosing hope. All i can think about right now is my SWEET ESCAPE and my HAPPY ENDING. I wanna die, SHOOT ME NOW. No one will ever understand me in this world, as what my used to be mom and dad would say I AM A FAKE PERSON. I COULD NEVER LIVE IN THIS WORLD.

I wanna die, My heart and Life is CRUSHED. I dont feel happiness right now, i cant focuse on anything. I wanna escape, find happiness and be FREE. Lord cant help me, he cant. Because i know he cant do anything, i am a bad person, i hate my LIFE. please lord, kill me now. kill me now. kill me now. let me find my sweet escape in this world, help me find my family. a family who would love me, and care about me. Please, HELP ME FIND A FAMILY.